Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
