okay pat passed out under dana's car
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
