Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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