It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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