I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
