oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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