I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
