ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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