So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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