one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When did angry sex become our thing?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
