dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize