I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
