I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
