We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
