Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
