...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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