Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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