She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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