Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize