Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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