That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
