garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
