Little spoons don't ask big questions
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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