Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
