We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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