you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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