I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
