its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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