Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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