He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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