HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
