Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
