I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
