at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
