I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
