If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
