At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
