Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
