im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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