Screwed.edu
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
