i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
