So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
