There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dick very happy bro
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
