My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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