PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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