Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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