I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
