I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
