i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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