apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
