oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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