I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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