Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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