RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
