Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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