she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
wanna go halves on a baby?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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