The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
