He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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