..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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