we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
