the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
