So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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