this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
