Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
