ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
