Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It was confusing and full of hummus
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize