Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I will be naked everywhere
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
