why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
