We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize