i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
